Tuesday, September 13, 2005

 
i have finally concluded the fate of our friendship an hour ago. all that nonsense i guess was to cover up how i really felt inside. i think i'm depressed again. what an opportune moment. so now either she's read it and has chosen not to reply, or she hasn't even touched her phone yet.

anyway, today i saw her leave with vanessa and edwin, all smiles. conan told me he was going also, and ya, there you go, i'm all jilted. so i went to the salon shortly after that, but i stopped one stop earlier cuz i saw the new issue of cleo. i went up to the magazine stand, and took out a copy of the magazine, put it on the table so the auntie can see, then without looking i took out a note and handed it to her. she stared blankly at me. then i realised, the magazine i took out was fhm, and the money i was gonna give her was only 2 dollars. i was that distracted. goodness. i apologised and told her i wanted cleo. i think i was thinking too much. but i think it's sorta like a tit for tat thing, cuz i have left her without telling her with other friends. so i guess this is karma. ya.

i'm feeling all upset right now. i played ashlee simpson's undiscovered, and i wanted to sing to it, but i felt so sad i laid on my bed, face against the pillow, and as i listened to it i started to cry. that was after i smsed her how i felt. maybe this will be like, the last time i'm ever gonna have any time of communication or something with her. i want so much to hug her.

damien just said he'd be here to listen. i really appreciate that.

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